For Your Consideration

Several years back, a white woman took me aside and explained to me the why of #BlackLivesMatter. It’s my hope to reach out to my regular readers, as well as to anyone else who cringes when hearing the reply of “all lives matter,” but isn’t sure why.

Simply put, let’s take #BlackLivesMatter and apply it to something else in life. Please note that this isn’t a metaphor that I created, but the one that made things crystal-clear to me. It’s from a comic-strip on chainsawsuit.com by Kris Straub back in 2014. Here’s a link to his 2016 update to his original comic.
Let’s say that one night you wake up and your house is filled with smoke. You and your family safely get out of your burning house, but no one has their cell phones with them. You go to your neighbors and wake them up to ask for them to help and call the fire department. Your house is on fire!

Every neighbor you ask responds, “all houses matter” and then shuts their doors.

Maybe your next-door neighbor does call the fire department out of concern that their own house may catch fire. And when the firefighters show up, they do nothing. Maybe even a few “bad apple” firefighters pour gasoline on your house.

Who do you turn to for help? How can you get the attention of others so that they may help save your home? How can you try and make it so that firefighters will do their job and not be part of the problem? You don’t disagree that “all houses matter,” but right now a house is on fire and needs help!!!

I hope that this helps you embrace the #BLM movement, and become a supporter in any way that you can. There is a three-alarm blaze here in America that has been burning for a long time – killing countless citizens. We need to do all that we can to save and protect those who are being burned.

Mouse on a Gruffalo

As I was checking in our library’s copy of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s The Gruffalo, I had a sudden inspiration. Then I had to wait until my lunch break to turn the inspiration into a reality. And did I ever make it real!

BEHOLD:

A silly inspiration guaranteed to get the "Guy on a Buffalo" song stuck in your head: it's Mouse on a Gruffalo!!! | Hafuboti.com

If you don’t get the reference, then check out this awesome music video.
Fair Warning: you will get that song stuck in your head.

And you’re welcome to everyone who now has that song stuck in their head. Heh.

Shiny New Year

2015.

What can I say? It was a challenging, but overall good year. Looking back, I mentally shake my head and am just filled with wonderment. Partially because I survived. Partially because I had absolutely no idea how my resolution to steadfastly sparkle would bring about some amazing opportunities in my career.

And as I type this, it’s really hitting home that I think that I did an okay job at steadfastly sparkling in 2015. I think this may be the first time I’ve ever really felt the good karma boomerang in my life. It’s a great feeling.

(Someday I’ll need to tell y’all the story of taking my mother-in-law’s ashes to her favorite mountain to … actually, I’ll tell it now because I know that you’ll want to know – skip this if you don’t like morbid humor and/or jovial Australians:

Bruce and I were sort of at a loss as to how to take his mother’s ashes – along with the ashes of three of her cats that we discovered while cleaning her place – to her favorite mountain in Arizona. We finally settled on taking them in the picnic basket in which she always used to keep her creative writing.

It was a bit of a hike on a hot day, and so what do you wear to what amounts to an outdoor funeral that requires a two mile hike to even get to the beginning of the trail? We figured it out, and made our way to this popular trail.

We were nearing the trail head when a man and woman approached who were heading back down. The man was large and looked friendly, and broke into a huge grin as they neared. Then, with a booming Australian accent he declared, “Ah – good! You brought breakfast!” The friendly tourists didn’t break their strides, and neither did we, so lord knows what they thought of our stunned non-reactions.

I think we were so shocked that it really didn’t register until we completed our journey. But once we had returned to our rental car, we burst into laughter/tears. The end.)

Okay. Back to what you came here to read!

The two biggest “boomerangs” have put me in a position to help others sparkle and shine:

The first was stepping into the role of Chair of the School, Children’s, and Young People’s section of the Nebraska Library Association. If you’d told me at the beginning of my library career (about six year ago) that I’d become Chair of SCYP I would’ve said “Chair of WHAT?! What does that even mean?” Actually, a month after stepping into that role I was panicking with the same “what does this even mean?” question.

Now, I need to take a step back and share something that I’ve debated sharing off-and-on, and finally decided on the on side of things: soon after learning that I had been voted the Chair-elect, I also learned that I actually hadn’t won the election. Someone else had won and turned down the position which in turn made me the “winner.” I wasn’t the least bit mad at the true winner (she’s a really awesome librarian) – it was mainly an ego blow. Plus, I was excited to take a crack at the SCYP blog and see if I could turn it into something good (and that’s basically all that I thought I’d do – heh).

But that knowledge caused quite the impostor flare in me. I had no idea what I should be doing. I skimmed the bylaws and was still like what?  And then I got an email saying that I needed to submit my report to the Board Members portion for the upcoming meeting. Rational thought left me and I was like “but what do I even dooooooo?

Let’s take one more step back to the second karma boomerang: I was asked to lead the Nebraska chapter of Storytime Underground. It was a great honor and I was incredibly excited/nervous about getting it going. And then when the day came I was greeted with (from my perspective) crickets. IMPOSTER SYNDROME TIMES 2 OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE I DON’T BELONG AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!

Ahem.

And then I did the wisest thing possible in this situation: I emailed a librarian mentor/friend (you need at least one of those – go find one now – I’ll wait). I emailed her and was like IMPOSTER SYNDROME TIMES 2 OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE I DON’T BELONG AAAAAAUGH AND NO ONE LIKES ME WHAT DO I DOOOOOOO?!?!?! (only the panicking doubt went on for several paragraphs)

And she did the most awesome thing. She wrote an email response that set my feet on a better path – not just in librarianship but in my life. She wrote it throughout the course of a day as thoughts occurred to her (not knowing that my mind enjoys and latches onto the random). I even misunderstood one small part, but through that misunderstanding I came up with my game plan not just for 2016, but my career. Did either of us expect this outcome?

And here’s the thing – the path that I realized that I will likely be taking for years to come (hopefully with some fun side-trips as well), all comes back to steadfastly sparkling. I feel a drive that I’ve never felt before: I want to bring as many YS librarians together in Nebraska as possible. And I especially want to make sure that they are aware that there are opportunities to create supportive personal learning networks where they’ll be safe to share and learn from one another. All of this regardless of education level, size of library, or any other reason they may feel imposterish.

See? I was dead serious about finding a mentor/friend. Again, I’ll wait here. Go out and gitcherself one!

To be more concrete for y’all in case you’re like “get over this sparkle stuff,” here are my goals for 2016 (some of which I’ve already done):

Find every NE public library on Facebook that I can. Like them both as myself and on behalf of our library. Y’all should seriously consider doing this. It’s really opened up my eyes to so many libraries doing great things. Even where the entire staff consists of a Director and the Director’s Assistant.

Being the main person overseeing our library’s Facebook page, I can tell you that a single “like” can immeasurably brighten my day. So, to share that sort of delight with someone else out there? It’s awesome.

Also, it leads to my next goal:

Through the Nebraska librarians sharing their fun programs online, I then find the email of the YS librarian who ran the program (or failing that, I reach out to the library’s Director – after all, wouldn’t it be amazing to have your Director forward you an email from an NLA Board Member wanting to learn more and share their event on both the SCYP blog as well as in our local Storytime Underground chapter?).

Which can lead to those librarians joining SCYP and/or StorytimeU NE. But if neither of those things happen? Then I know that somewhere in NE someone is hopefully pleased to catch the eye of someone “important.”  Heh.

Finally:

I’ve been creating an epic spreadsheet of Nebraska libraries breaking them down into who belongs to the NLA/SCYP, the YS librarians (if any) or Director, and their contact info. I’ve already gotten through the hundreds of SCYP members, and am currently into the E‘s of Nebraska cities. Yes, by the time I’m done I’ll have around 500 contacts. Yowsa! But cool.

And what will I be doing with this epic list? I’m hoping to write a nice note to libraries/librarians not a part of the NLA letting them know who I am and why I care who they are.

Let me tell you what: I’ve already reached out to a handful of libraries who aren’t in the NLA, but that have shared great ideas on Facebook. I’d say that I’ve gotten a response from about half. But of those half? They’ve been FAB-U-LOUS and any doubts that I may have had about sending out “cold emails” have evaporated.

And that about rounds out my resolutions to rock for 2016.

It’s gonna be an interesting year – I hope!

Goodness

Warning: the following post is very wordy and pretty philosophical in nature. In other words it’s really not like most of my other posts ’round here. I won’t feel bad if you skip it. Promise.

For those who brave my musings – I’ve sprinkled the post with pictures that combine my Hafukiti and quotes about goodness. This is mainly for fun, but I also know how I feel when I read a lengthy blog post with no pictures. I likes me some pictures.

Writing this post has been at the back of my mind for awhile, and once I realized that I needed to write this post, another realization occurred: it was time to shake things up in Hafuboti-land. So, for several weeks now I’ve been really mulling over my thoughts and feelings, and how I wanted them reflected on this site, and with my work.

The cause of all of these thoughts was due to one of fibromyalgia’s most frustrating aspects: it wreaks havoc on my mental functions (mainly memory – it’s called “fibro fog”). However, there was one time this issue was actually kind of awesome: my incorrect memory of something Bryce from Bryce Don’t Play posted on Facebook has become a quasi-mantra in my life.

Here’s the post:

Here’s what my mind remembered:

A longtime friend of Bryce’s had asked her when she was younger why Bryce never complained or talked bad about people, and Bryce’s response? “What good would it do?” And she still has that perspective today.

And that really-close-but not-quite-right memory came to me after my Director talked about taking the high road during a staff meeting. And both her and Bryce’s words created one of the most profound paradigm shifts that I have ever experienced. I suddenly saw the question of “what good would it do?” in a completely different light. It was suddenly not a frustrated cry, but a genuine question of “what good would it do?”

What good will I accomplish (in this world that so desperately needs goodness) if I behave this way?

What good will come of me griping about a person or situation?

Since that profound change in perspective I now try and question myself before I say or write something (beyond the normal chatter – I don’t want it sound like I’m questioning every little thing, cuz I’m not). It may not be a deep questioning, but it’s more of trying to sense what would be or cause good in the situation.

For example, while writing a blog post, I’ve begun thinking of things like this:

Should I write about or leave out part of my experience? Would one of those options help someone out more than the other? Would not sharing this information mislead someone in any way?

I think y’all probably get the gist.

It seems ridiculously simple (because it pretty much is), but it’s been very powerful in my life and since this attitude adjustment I’ve been more aware of how the goodness grows.

With all that in mind, I looked at how Hafuboti was built on creating and selling ornaments. Over time, the whole selling side of things has become less and less important to me. And I feel that this blog has morphed into something good for the library world. So, my tongue-in-cheek tagline of “upcycled ornaments for the insanely beautiful” no longer fits. My new tagline (“little bits of good”) is inspired by something Desmond Tutu said:

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

Those words really get at the heart of what my “what good will it do” question means to me.

So, what does this all mean for this here blog? There actually won’t be a heckuva lotta noticeable changes. People who opted not to read this post might notice a few cosmetic changes, but that’s probably it.

While I still plan on making ornaments, I believe it’s time to leave Etsy. I haven’t been a fan of the changes they’ve been making recently, and for me the ornaments have never been about making money. I’m looking into options for selling from my blog (after all, I still love the creativity and making something that someone will enjoy), and will get that up and going sometime in the near future. If you were waiting for me to list more ornaments, then don’t hesitate to reach out to me and request one. I can probably swing it.

That’s about it. I thought I’d share the what and why of my new mission of this blog. It’s always been an underlying current, but I feel like it needs to become the foundation.

And to wrap things up: two images that I enjoy, but didn’t seem to quite fit into the body of this post:

 

#LibraryZOMG

The following post is full of gifs in attempt to lighten up the bummer aspects – after all, I’d rather laugh than cry. You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk.Murphy’s Law was in full force after I’d published my #LibraryYES post. I believe that it was the very next day that Julia gave us her two weeks’ notice. Then the following week Brittany did the same.  One of the notices was expected, the other was completely out of the blue.

I cried. Openly. At my desk.
marc anthon
What can I say? I love my team. I guess that I should be happy that I didn’t mistakenly believe that they’d been killed in a horrible baking accident.

But the other thing causing me tears (hey – I’m not completely selfless) was realizing how brutal our summer would be. We were already working with a skeleton crew, and this meant hiring and training people during summer programming. I was already working alone part of many days, and with my fibromyalgia I was scared of having a flare when I was on my own.

Seriously, I had such a bad flare on the day that I was to start training our new Young Adult Librarian that when he arrived, he found me on the ground behind the Director’s desk – fetal, crying, and waiting for Bruce to come pick me up. We laugh about it now, but I was so embarrassed and frustrated that my body gave out when I was SO excited to welcome him to our team. HUGE shout-out to the rest of our team who made him feel welcomed and showed him the ropes in my place!

There were other super icky work issues that came up during this time. One that took until today to resolve. Needless to say, these things caused me both physical and emotional pain.

Did I mention that Bruce and I moved during this time? Into a rental house – neither of us ever having lived in a house since we’d become adults? A house that we’ve been partially renovating and fully painting? And where we’ve been rediscovering the joys of yard work?

Yeah.

So, I stepped back from my online presence. I wasn’t enjoying work as much (it was a daily struggle), and I didn’t have the energy or enthusiasm for anything library-related. Even my own #LibraryYES idea. How could I loudly proclaim YES when everything work-related seemed like a NO?

The answer: I couldn’t. At least my mortal enemy hadn’t cut off my hand and then revealed himself to be my father while I dangled precariously on some sort of ledge-thing. Uh, spoiler alert?

I’ve had rough times before, but nothing super-major since starting up this-here blog. Heck, I originally started this blog after my horrible mono experience when I wasn’t finding a creative outlet at work (things changed, obviously – and thankfully). And I’m guilty of making what I do look as fabulous as possible online. After all, it’s not that fun to read about someone else’s struggles (unless you’re like “schadenfreude – awww yisssss!”).
It’s even lesser-fun to admit struggles and fails. But after being part of an email discussion between a group of amazing library ladies ::waves hi to Amy, Sophie, Laura, and Erin::, we came to the conclusion that we all have the tendency to want to glaze over, ignore, or trivialize all of the hard work and even failures that occur more often than not in our work. (Now that the summer craziness is behind, I truly hope that we can return to our brainstorming and eventually share our ideas with the world – I have high hopes for where we’re heading).

Yeah, I made a pair of giant fuzzy dice. Did I share that I managed to burn my fingers a bajillion times, or glue one part of a die onto the carpet? Nope. I just left it out.

Did I mention that I took a full eight hours to create some artwork used on an event flyer? Nope, I post the work and don’t even comment on how hard I worked on it. FYI: if it’s artsy-fartsy, then it probably took me more time than you’d imagine, or that I’d want to admit.

My Halloween spiders that I mentioned having a “small crafting meltdown” over? I was ugly-crying at my desk because it wasn’t working like I’d wanted it to (it was after close and no other staff members were around – thank goodness).
I definitely glossed over this and many other things.

Does this make me a terrible person? Nope.

Does this make my blog full of LIES?! Nope.

But I’m determined that going forward I’ll be even more honest about the struggling aspect of things. I do not want to be the cause of new librarians questioning their abilities because I make it look easy. Generally, things aren’t easy. But many of us persevere, improvise, and bullheadedly continue on and get it done and/or sweep it under the hot glue marred carpet. Then some of us frame the writing and pictures just riiiight to make it look like a gorgeous breeze.

::snort::

So there you have it: why the lack of posts here, there, and everywhere online, and sort of my vision statement going forward on this here blog.